By: Liz Pond
“Intentional living is the art of making our own choices before others choices make us” Richie Norton
Photo 1: Kampong Glam, Singapore's Arab quarter - home to grand Sultan Mosque
Photo 2: boat tour with famous Marina Bay Sands Hotel behind us
Photo 3: Locals Coffee in Kampong Glam
“Bloody Hell it's hot!” announced Ravi in her proper British accent. Ravi had moved from a London suburb to Southern California as a teen, “Bloody Hell,” we repeated in unison with the light amusement this phrase had come to provide. We’d just finished a long and glorious day of touring together on an impulsive trip to Singapore. We were still marveling at the fact we had allowed ourselves to say “yes!” to Singapore with the intention to reconnect for this amazing adventure.
As the laughter subsided I held out my phone in selfie mode and yipped “Fall in girls ….green light!” This was another catch phrase we used all day to signal it was picture time, so “please look at the green dot on the phone and smile”. Unlike my cranky teenager who never wants her picture taken by mom, these lovely ladies immediately stood up and leaned over in unison with authentic smiles on their faces. Another special moment in time was captured. I was so grateful to have my old friends and new travel buddies with me on this journey!
My thoughts wandered to a memorial service I attended at a Buddhist Church in Anaheim California honoring a dear friend, and travel industry great who introduced me years ago to the Asia markets. The speaker at the service humbly challenged us to think about what was more important: the journey or the destination. The journey, I remembered thinking with conviction. Then the speaker gently reminded us that there is a third option, perhaps it is the company along the way that was the most treasured. It's the people on the journey that magnify its beauty.
On this journey to Singapore my travel companions were:
Cathy -a original woman in technology before women chose careers in technology, founded her own successful coaching, training, and consulting company. She is brilliant and compassionate and has coached women in tech all over the globe. Cathy has volunteered at Easter Seals for decades. I have fond memories of being a camp counselor at Easter Seals with Cathy the summer after high school. We share a passion for equity of experience and want to help all people live full independent lives. Cathy has created an amazing life for herself in San Francisco. Fun fact, she traveled to Nepal to study Buddhism with the *Ripa Ladrang Foundation” and now practices Transcendental Meditation.
Ravi - a double degreed, highly educated business woman and co-owner of a veterinarian clinic with her husband. She is happily married to a delightful supportive man and successfully raised two over-achiever children. Ravi is a person of Indian origin born in the United Kingdom. Ravi went kicking and screaming when her family moved to Southern California, but she eventually settled into the high school experience in the United States, earning the coveted spot of class speaker for graduation! Ravi was raised to be Sikh. In addition to being smart, she is a kind and genuine person with a talent for calling it like it is in a very respectful way. We share a passion for equality, community engagement, and leading a purposeful life.
I have fond memories of spinning around Cathy’s basement as a tween singing the John Lennon and Yoko Ono song “Woman” from the Double Fantasy album. We also celebrated Ravi’s sweet 16 in this very basement.
Fast forward through the decades and there we sat, three recently reunited high school friends surrounded by a kaleidoscope of color from the 3,500 birds, representing over 400 species that call Singapore’s Wildlife Bird Paradise home. We were at Mandai Park, the largest aviary in Asia, with rare bird species covered in unique and vibrant feathers of indigo blue, jade, crimson, burnt orange, and butter yellow. The birds proudly showcase their eccentric blend of fringe, spinning like models for their full plumage to be admired by onlookers. They take flight on a glorious runway that encourages all their distinctive beauty to be center stage for spectators.
Photos: Mandai Wildlife Bird Paradise Preserve
On this girls-only reunion trip we wore our hearts on our sleeve, each of us adorned with decades of vibrant lived experience layered like feathers in our individual life stories. We chatted while the birds chirped, excited to fill in the nooks and crannies of our post high school histories. Like our feathered friends, we saw beauty in the runway of our lives as they intersected through the mountains and valleys of our autobiographies. We had started in the same place as teenagers and had circled the globe taking our own path. We were genuinely together again, no matter how many years had passed. We held no judgment for why we lost touch, life happens, only curiosity about how to be present for each other today. We also laughed continuously and furiously from the depth of our bellies at ourselves, our past and present circumstances.
Our paths had crossed most recently when I attended our high school reunion, and less than a week later we were on this serendipitous trip to Singapore for a proper catch-up. The night before our trip dinner was an explosion of conversation and laughter that began to stitch together the fabric of our lives. Our stories were laced with the shadows of our previous youthful selves and adorned with the wisdom that comes after 50 years of age. We were fueled by wine and discovery about how our paths crossed unknowingly through our geographies, life events, and relationships.
Photos: High Tea at the Raffles Hotel
We were filling in the gaps of those 30 years where much had happened before social media boldly announced the perfect parts of our lives and made us a little lazy about picking up the phone or chasing face to face reunions. In our sleepy stupor our first night in Singapore was reminiscent of a middle school sleepover. Precious memories flooded back. It was unusual for me to be around friends that knew both my parents since we lost my mom decades ago. We were friends before the internet, when phones had cords and connections were made through conversation. Now here we were after that 17 hour flight, a momentous number of loyalty miles redeemed, and utilization of a few airline retiree benefits. We were investing in our friendship while exploring a magnificent new place!
We entered the Wildlife Bird Paradise Show from the back and settled about five rows down from the top of the bleachers with a birds-eye view of the main stage for the Bird Park finale, an aviary show. We had seen plenty of amazing birds including the Black-faced spoonbill, Straw-headed bulbul, and the Philippine cockatoo. We had also put in at least 23,000 steps with a full night zoo tour ahead of us, so I was fine resting my achy knee and not traipsing all the way down to the stage. Plus, this was Singapore, where everything was well planned, so I was confident this show would be a top notch and accessible experience.
While we waited, the stifling heat clung to the air, refusing to relent with the sinking of the sun. Beads of sweat clung to the back of my neck mixing with bug spray and remnants of the rain that had doused us on arrival. Cathy was swiping the thick heavy air around all three of us with a souvenir fan from the Chinese neighborhood we explored on our way to one of the infamous hawker stands for lunch. All efforts to evict the oppressive humidity were short lived as this involved utilizing energy which needed to be conserved in order to live through the mugginess of the moment. We were hot, and tired, but happy to be together on this adventure.
Just then a loud squawk tore me away from my thoughts and an intrusive loudspeaker instructed us to stay seated and keep our hands and arms down. A huge bird who had stealthily been placed on a pole a few rows back, took flight, showing off his impressive wing span of at least four feet across. We quickly crouched back down in our seats and noticed a variety of birds on posts all throughout the bleachers. On trainer request they were criss crossing the airspace between the stanchions flying only slightly above the audience. One rather large fellow seemed to swoop within inches of Ravi’s ear resulting in an appropriate nervous scream and a waterfall of giggles and laughter from all three of our over-tired selves. There is nothing quite as healing as when you laugh until you cry, which was something we did consistently in Singapore.
Photos: Mandai Wildlife Bird Paradise Preserve
The symphony of colors peaked as all the birds paraded proudly onto the main stage. Pelicans and a massive number of flamingos trotted in harmony filling up every corner of the arena. Feathers of chili red sat on pillars next to a talkative parrot of cobalt blue. Large espresso colored birds perched proudly while small onyx birds flew in formation toward the stage wall disappearing into the set only to reappear again in a crescendo of raven black and cerulean.
It struck me that just like Singapore which is a melting pot of cultures that live harmoniously on one small island, these drastically different species of birds comfortably shared the stage and the spotlight. Singapore has done a spectacular job celebrating unique hybrid cultures. This has manifested in Peranakan culture, a multicultural fabric rooted in inter marriage of Chinese immigrants and local Malays. These Chinese and Malay traditions influence the nation's identity through distinct culture, art, traditional clothes and language. Originally Peranakans were prominent traders, shop keepers and community leaders with a unique role in economic growth, social influence, philanthropy and politics. (1)
Photos: Singapore's China town, Niu Che Shui - Water Cart and surrounding area
A myriad of M’s converge to showcase the melting pot that makes up Singapore. A multiracial, multi cultural, multi religious heritage forms the backbone of the city’s character. Made up of Chinese, Malay, Indian, and variable other ethnicities, cultural heritage is what makes Singapore unique. (2) As Singapore turns 60 and enters her second Saturn, the modern significance of the Peranikan way of life has moved to what she values the most: preservation of a cultural richness that is a cherished part of Singapore’s identity.
What is the second Saturn? Cathy introduced us to the concept of a second Saturn as we talked through our most recent desires for a shift in our lives. “Saturn is the planet of maturity and hard work.” If you have ever wanted to write a novel or learn to play the piano, Saturn is your friend. The energy of Saturn can give you focus, tenacity, clarity and stamina. The first Saturn is around 30. A second Saturn happens with Saturn going two revolutions around the sun, roughly 58.8 years into life. You can start to feel it around 56 and it continues through 62. It's a time to think about how we envision spending the third part of our lives. It encourages us to do more of what's working and let what's not serving us fall to the wayside.” (3)
Photos: Singapore Jurassic World Experience & Famous Hawker Center for dinner
The Second Saturn is a catalyst for personal transformation. Pushing individuals to course correct if their life is no longer aligned with their true path. This stage is often accompanied by a new sense of freedom. This may mean a business transformation. Or rediscovering what gives us joy as an empty nester. Even if astrology is not your thing, one can’t deny that at this stage of life we reevaluate what is important. Travel is often part of second Saturn because it involves reflecting on experiences that often lead to new perspectives. Travel also frees us from routine and forces us to think differently. All this leads us back to intention.
Honestly, I was unaware that a second Saturn existed, but mine crept in mysteriously just after the unwelcome arrival of my AARP card. This lack of alignment became a catalyst to embrace the wisdom that comes with a few rotations around the sun and to rediscover living with intention. I freed myself from the responsibilities of an amazing, but all consuming 80+ hour a week career, and granted myself the gift of time.
As the calendar month moves to December and the new year shows bright on the horizon it's natural that we spend some time reflecting on those things that matter the most to us along this arbitrary twelve part timeline. For me, this year has a special significance because for the first time in over 25 years I have taken charge of how I spend my time. One year to check off as many of those bucket list items as possible. In this gap year, I give myself permission to be intentional about my minutes on this earth and how I spend them.
I started with a fill in the blank exercise that kept me accountable. For decades I would say, “ I would love to _____, but I just don't have the time.“ I remember my father saying often, “Lizzy, don't wait, carve out some time for things that are important to you.” I loved the idea, but I also took all my roles seriously. I wanted to be the very best mother, daughter, life partner, friend and leader to my team at work. I was consumed by the “to do’s” and over the years saw my core self eroding into a sea of things less meaningful.
Taking stock of what's important to me with the fill in the blank practice, I found a few guide posts that were central to who I am and want to be. I progressed with intention, choosing to engage only if it fell under one of my four pillars.
“An unintentional life accepts everything and does nothing. An intentional life embraces only the things that will add to the mission of significance. “ John C Maxwell
It was exciting to have time to do the things I really wanted to do. It was also a little confronting that I had no more excuses, because I was solely in charge of my time. Action, or no action rested precariously on my very own shoulders. My guide posts looked something like this:
Guide post 1) Invest in my relationships with family, friends and loved ones.
Guide post 2) Reclaim my health.
Guide Post 3) Philanthropy - give back in a meaningful way.
Guide post 4) Travel and personal growth - explore different places,cultures and experiences celebrating our differentness and our similarities.
I had a goal to make it to a total of 100 countries before my gap year was over. This meant something like 19 more countries in 12 months. So when the opportunity to go on a spur of the moment trip to Singapore with old friends came about, it fit into two pillars; travel and the investing in relationships pillar. This was a chance to spend meaningful time together while exploring a new country with a very diverse culture. It was an opportunity trifecta and worthy of clearing my calendar to participate.
Photo 1: At Gardens by the Bay
Photo 2: Merlion Park
Photo 3: Rules are strict in Singapore
Little did I know when I said yes, that this trip identified all three of us and Singapore herself in a transformational second Saturn. Singapore’s historical roots go back 700 years, yet Singapore is actually a young country. The Proclamation of Singapore was August 9, 1965 making Singapore 60 years old in 2025! Like Singapore, the three of us chose to focus on people, shared history and heritage. From the pledge of allegiance children recite, to the laws, customs and well thought out urban green spaces and public transportation, the people, families and inclusivity are center stage. Singapore is also one of the most accessible cities I have experienced.
Photos: Light Shows
For those of us on the edge of second Saturn we are just coming out of our cocoons of responsibility and in the process of growing our remarkable butterfly wings to carry us into the third part of life. As our trip together came to a close we watched the Marina Bay Sands spectacular light shows burst through the sky expertly choreographed to music, it was clear that Singapore herself was built with intention. The waves of music and effervescent explosions of color appeared as Singapore’s wings. We recognize it is a gift being back in each other's lives for the second saturn. We are present, problem solving together, energetic cheerleaders, helping each other through the exciting transformation of what is to come. We have created an extended family and my daughter has two new aunties to help her as she begins her journey. Singapore for me was about friendship, we are powerful together, letting go of the past leaving us traveling light.
Photos: At the Singapore Botanical Gardens
"No one comes into your life by chance. People come into our lives when we need them to. Our paths crossed for a reason. A need was met. Some will stay longer than others, but all should be embraced. Just as others will be what you need, you will also be what others need. Open your eyes, arms, and heart.” - Joseph Andrus
Travel Tip - Be intentional with your time and be open to the unexpected
Reader questions:
How would you fill in the blank if you granted yourself time?
Has travel changed you in some way?
How would you weigh the importance of the journey, destination and company along the way?
References:
- www.britannica.com , Singapore Facts, Geography, History
- www.national geographic.com , History and Culture
- www.healingforlifeastrology.com ,The second Saturn Return
- www.visitsingapore.com
- www.ripaladrang.org
*Ripa Ladrang - The mission of the Ripa Ladrang Foundation, as a non profit organization is to promote, support and preserve Tibetan Vajrayana Buddhism. Since the traditions' religious values and practices are about compassionate engagement with the world and its people they fulfill this mission through teachings, spiritual outreach and humanitarian service projects.
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