By: Aimee Shramko
Posted: October 6, 2025
Full disclosure – I’ve never been very good at athletic pursuits. Blame it on being an only child with parents who had no interest in either spectator sports or achieving any level of athleticism. Mom loved walking and Dad liked to ride his bike, but casually and haphazardly, without any specific goals. Things like lifting weights, team sports, anything involving hand-to-eye coordination, were not things I was encouraged to do growing up. To add another layer, I grew up in a small urban apartment building with no kids my age to lure me outside for a game of HORSE or a round of Double Dutch.
So how is it that, at age 59, I’ve been not just working out since July of 2024, but consistently building muscle and stamina? My twice a week walk on a treadmill transitioned first to the elliptical, which I had always found challenging. Then I added strength training designed to boost metabolism, enhance muscle endurance, improve balance, and support joint health and stability. I went from barely being able to lift a 5-pound weight a few times to doing three sets of 20 lifts (or reps) with weights twice that heavy. Joey, my friend and trainer, explained that strength training is realized, “when you gain the ability to do multiple reps of the same exercise with consistency and without compromising your form.” I’ve learned that form is everything and good form is essential in preventing injury.
In January, I increased my workouts to three times a week. And I haven’t looked back. I absolutely LOVE it! Other than those times when travel made it nearly impossible, I haven’t missed a single session. I feel better and have more energy than I ever have.
My initial motivation was prompted by the 30 lbs. I lost immediately following the sudden death of my husband Tony in March of 2024. Coming home after that first horrendous visit to the hospital I found my desire for the usual one or two glasses of wine with dinner had completely disappeared. Along with it, so too had both my appetite and the joy I had once found in cooking meals. Tony and I always made dinner an event. We lit candles, played music, set the table with the “good” plates, and cooked side by side. Without him, I had no motivation.
After about three months of losing weight, I discovered not only that nothing I owned fit me, but also that I LIKED the way I looked – and felt. And that little bit of happiness during the worst time of my life gave me the push I needed to keep it going. I started using both exercise and, yes, a bit of clothes shopping, as the respite I desperately needed from grief and trying to figure out what my life without my husband of 26 years would look like. As I exercised, my appetite returned, but I vowed to keep the excess pounds off through healthier eating and increased movement.
I decided whatever I did that my first goal should be to avoid injury, so I started looking for a personal trainer. I had never done anything even resembling sit-ups, didn’t know what planks were, and was intimidated by almost all of the gym machines. I had seen people doing knee and leg raises but thought they belonged in a boot camp regimen – I never dreamed I’d be fit enough to even attempt anything like that.
I was beyond fortunate to find Joey via the recommendation of another widow who had a good understanding of what I was going through. She also happened to be the manager of the small gym, and so had both expertise and connections.
Joey has been my “grief buster”, always kind, compassionate, caring, and prioritizing injury avoidance and confidence building. Working out with someone who celebrates your successes can make the difference between sticking with a program and losing interest. This was especially true for me who never received a lot of praise for my athletic abilities – yes, I was that person chosen last for teams.
Another one of the self-care tools I relied upon during these last 18 months was the practice of mindfulness (1). I’d been doing mindfulness meditations since I lost my mother to complications associated with dementia in 2018. Mindfulness has taught me not to quiet my mind, because minds are meant to be active, but to strive to be in the present moment. Focusing solely on the present helps you avoid anxiety about the future and circumvent depression by ruminating on the past. I used those principles to find respite from the barrage of emotions and inevitable to-do lists that are suddenly thrust upon you when you experience the loss of a loved one.
Miraculously one day, these two activities – working out and practicing mindfulness – merged for me. They became steppingstones to resilience and enabled me to keep going. As Joey was coaching me once again on the proper way to do “cable triceps pushdowns” I realized how intently I was focusing on achieving the right form. I was completely absorbed in making sure my knees weren’t locked, I wasn’t clenching, and thereby potentially injuring, any muscle other than the triceps, that I was standing neither too close nor too far from the machine, that my hands were evenly spaced on the bar I was holding, and that my wrists weren’t bending under the weight as I pulled the bar down to my knees. After a workout like this, I was physically and mentally drained – but in a good way. I felt renewed from the guided and intentional focus on the present moment. I realized I had pushed all intrusive thoughts unrelated to exercise out of my head. It felt similar to what I had experienced practicing mindfulness. That focused awareness allowed me to escape from worry and anxiety. I mentioned this experience to one of my mindfulness guides who nodded and said “yes, that’s Mindful Movement!”(2)
As I investigated the concept of Mindful Movement I realized that some activities such as weight training lend themselves better to being in the moment. Cardio, especially with treadmills and ellipticals, can quickly become second nature or a bit mind-less, which is why people listen to music, read books on their iPads, or watch tv to stave off boredom. But to do weightlifting correctly and avoid injury, you need to maintain focus. Other examples of mindful exercises are yoga, pilates and tai chi.
I’ve come to appreciate Joey counting my reps for me as I’m often so intent on not just how the muscle I’m trying to work feels, but also how the rest of my body is responding to the weight, that I end up losing count. Part of this is just the learning curve I’m tackling as a beginner. But for now, I don’t mind – it keeps my mind in the present – where it belongs.
My journey to fitness began with a traumatic life-altering event, but along the way I’ve eagerly embraced those new activities that have helped me keep going. Now that I think about it, isn’t that what lifelong learning is all about?
About the Author: Aimee Shramko, a former advertising executive, grew up in Santa Monica, CA and received her undergraduate degree from UCLA. A Bruin through and through, she remains hopeful that her football team’s mojo will return one day…if not this season. A resident of the Valley of the Sun for fifteen years, she is a graduate of the Thunderbird School for Global Management at ASU. She volunteered at Phoenix Art Museum for several years and now devotes her time to supporting OLLI, the arts, and exploring new destinations.
Photo Credit:
Georgia O’Keeffe Music, Pink & Blue, 1918
References:
(1) Mindfulness – “Mindfulness is paying attention on purpose, in the present moment and nonjudgmentally, to the unfolding of experience moment to moment” Jon Kabot-Zinn, American professor emeritus of medicine and the creator of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.
(2) Mindful Movement is a practice that involves paying attention to the body and its movements while engaging in physical activity. It focuses on bringing awareness to the sensations, thoughts, and emotions that arise during movement.
Key Principles:
- Intentionality: Moving with purpose and focusing on the present moment.
- Body Awareness: Paying attention to the sensations in the body, such as the muscles, joints, and breath.
- Non-Judgmental Observation: Observing the body without criticizing or comparing it.
- Acceptance: Accepting the body as it is, without trying to change or force it.
Benefits:
- Improves body awareness and coordination, reduces stress and anxiety, enhances physical well-being, promotes emotional regulation, and cultivates self-compassion. AI Google Search
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